Why Stay Sober On Second Dates

If you’re single and trying to mingle in this disturbing age of ‘modern dating’ where everything is digital, app or algorithm based; you know what I’m talking about when I say, boy is it disappointing! Pretending to be something you’re not, lying about pretty much everything is now possible till you are knee deep in trouble. Whether man or woman, it is equally difficult to judge people through apps with diplomatically edited images and witty copy pasted bios.

Once you finally get past the icebreaker conversation, you decide to meet. The first dates are about nervousness, wondering, calculated answers and impressing each other. It is very difficult to really read or understand the person better. This disappointment usually sets in much later when you wonder if all that effort to reach this point is worth wasting. You’re torn between being slightly ignorant and not settling for anything less than what you deserve.

Recently on a date when I happened to mention about living with my friends and that I was the only female in the house, the guy thought it was impossible that none of my friends ‘made a move on me.’ It’s shocking how a guy has so much trust in his tribesmen about ‘no girl shall go unmounted.’ I am happy my friends have been raised right.

Here’s my suggestion, calm your hormones down and use this second date to your benefit. Dropping breadcrumbs to find out clues to this person is the best way to do it. However, sometimes you may be thrown off track by how fun or hot your date is and I get that but keep your chill and steer the conversation in their direction. Yapping about yourself for two hours is not going to help you!

While you may think, someone with a job, decent fashion sense and similar music choice is a perfect choice, stop. What he or she thinks about David Guetta’s new song is not as important as how they treat other people or what jokes do they laugh at? Are they racist or sexist? Try bringing up an incident casually about a rare or otherwise stereotyped as ‘how is that possible?’ and see their reaction. Ask them about their crazy stories, discuss friends, finding out what kind of people or experiences they have been a part of can tell you a lot more than you think. And while I don’t believe in horoscopes, the behavioural similarities in sun signs is something I’ve noticed is usually true.

So girls and boys, whether it’s a casual flirtation or you’re looking for something serious, weed out the creeps early on to maintain your sanity. No one wants to have memories of a list of regrets!

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