Depression is like a heavy stone that is dropped on your chest without notice. It can be at 3AM when you’re alone in bed or at 3PM when you’re simply hanging out with your friends. It is like an uninvited guest that refuses to leave. Even when it’s staying, you may find a brief moment that makes you smile, but you know it’s staying.
Depression is like closing your eyes and finding yourself falling into a bottomless black hole, but it could happen even when you’re wide awake. No reason is small or big for it to creep back into your life and leave you feeling exhausted. It’ll play with your mind, mood, emotions and actions.
Depression is like someone reaching into your chest and pulling your heart out with bare hands, raw and painful. It’ll make you want to stop time and find answers before it slips in a blur right in front of you and to spend every waking second on considering ending it all because it’s too damn difficult.
Depression is a parasite, a dementor that sucks out your confidence and goodness and leaves your flesh uncovered. It makes you feel a little lesser of yourself, one day at a time. It’ll exploit your energy to keep fighting, enough to find it hard to just keep breathing.
Depression is not a joke. There is nothing funny about it. It is not an excuse. I don’t use it to get your attention. It is a war, a struggle, my struggle. I say it out loud because it gives me strength to survive another day and tell myself, “I’ll be fine. I’ll be back, stronger than ever.”