Depression: Say It Out Loud

Depression is like a heavy stone that is dropped on your chest without notice. It can be at 3AM when you’re alone in bed or at 3PM when you’re simply hanging out with your friends. It is like an uninvited guest that refuses to leave. Even when it’s staying, you may find a brief moment that makes you smile, but you know it’s staying.

Depression is like closing your eyes and finding yourself falling into a bottomless black hole, but it could happen even when you’re wide awake. No reason is small or big for it to creep back into your life and leave you feeling exhausted. It’ll play with your mind, mood, emotions and actions.

Depression is like someone reaching into your chest and pulling your heart out with bare hands, raw and painful. It’ll make you want to stop time and find answers before it slips in a blur right in front of you and to spend every waking second on considering ending it all because it’s too damn difficult.

Depression is a parasite, a dementor that sucks out your confidence and goodness and leaves your flesh uncovered. It makes you feel a little lesser of yourself, one day at a time. It’ll exploit your energy to keep fighting, enough to find it hard to just keep breathing.

Depression is not a joke. There is nothing funny about it. It is not an excuse. I don’t use it to get your attention. It is a war, a struggle, my struggle. I say it out loud because it gives me strength to survive another day and tell myself, “I’ll be fine. I’ll be back, stronger than ever.” 

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9 thoughts on “Depression: Say It Out Loud

  1. I could once relate to this struggle all too well. I kept it hidden as best I could but that did nothing but make it worse. I think it’s very brave of you to speak up and it’s a wonderful way to combat that battle. Once you speak up, you realize you aren’t alone. The isolation feels less suffocating and the dark hole doesn’t seem as deep or dark. I just wanted to encourage you to continue to deprive the parasite of the environment that makes it ideal for it to nest in. Continue to open up and share. I also wanted to challenge you to cultivate an environment that makes it difficult for the parasite to survive. I’ve found gratitude to be a wonderful way to smother the parasite. It’s difficult for the feeling to take hold of me if I shift my thoughts to something I’m thankful for. Sometimes it’s something as simple as the last warm meal I had. I pick apart the flavors and consistency of the dish. I’m thankful I was able to eat it, to prepare it or have it prepared, to be in good health that allowed me to pick up my utensil, serve it to myself, and my body was able to digest it. Thankful for the nutrients it gave me. Sending you lots of love! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Niki, everything you’ve said is so encouraging and amazing. Gratitude is a very important emotion and most of us prefer looking at what we don’t have or can’t have. I agree it makes you feel much better about your situation and I’ve found that out recently. It’s just sometimes these feelings hit too hard and it’s so overwhelming that it feels better to get comfortable in it than fight it. In the last one year, writing has helped me immensely because I get to vent, express and share. Thank you for your words! Lots of love ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m so glad you’ve been able to experience the power of gratitude for yourself. I understand that overwhelming feeling. I just want to encourage you to lean into gratitude more often than not. I disguised my negativity and self-imposed victimization under the mask of venting for long enough to know that I went overboard. Anything in excess can be bad. Venting became something I did in excess and it only encouraged me to find all of the faults, shortcomings, and reasons to complain. May your beautiful gift of writing support you in all that you want and enable you to divert your attention from the things you don’t. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I will consciously make an effort to see the glass half full ☺️
        Your point about going overboard with the venting is something that really strikes me. I can totally understand what you mean, and I shall always remember that.
        I hope my passion for writing never fades and my need to vent eventually vanishes.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I like this article a lot and I agree, if you open up about how you actually feel, it helps. I at least enjoy not having to act happy when I’m not feeling it.
    I linked to this article on my recent post, hope that’s okay 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and linking it! As a society we keep mocking people who are open about their feelings and admire those who pretend to be walls or perpetually happy. As humans, we are not meant to be happy all the time and it’s time we start accepting that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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